Unfamiliar
by Myriaddd
Summary: A short vig post LOTF Sacrifice from Han's POV, concerning Luke, Mara, the Force, and the ever changing galaxy.


**Unfamiliar** - _A short vig taking place after Sacrifice, from Han's POV. A reaction of sorts to the events of LOTF._

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As Han Solo, I can definitely say I've known the kid longer than most people. And I should know, more than most, that power doesn't change Luke the way it would most people.

First being the only Jedi, then only Jedi Master, then self-promotion to Grand Master, it is natural to think all that power would go straight to his head, right? Not Luke. He's about as far from controlling than any of us. When he's needed most and his advice is the most sought in the galaxy, he takes it in stride, never placing himself above others. Heck, even when I've seen him teaching the little apprentices on Yavin he's as approachable as it gets.

After Mara's death, everything changed.

Suddenly the levelheaded, observant, and thoughtful farmboy-turned-Jedi Master seemed to dissipate into the rest of the mess this civil war has caused. Suddenly I'd turn on the holo and hear something he said, or an action he took, and think to myself "Is this the right Luke Skywalker here?" It hurt to know it iwas/i that very same Luke Skywalker.

I know death hurts, kid, but did you really have to take it this far?

Him and Mara, they were close. I could feel it, even without that Force nonsense. I was skeptical at first, but over the years I've come to realize there could be no other woman for him—the complemented each other perfectly. It did not surprise me how much her death affected him… but is it cruel of me to think he needs to pick himself up a little bit?

He seems so iempty/i. Unwilling to keep moving. The galaxy continues to spin on without him.

Now when someone walks into the room, its like he puts on a mask for everyone. Hides the real Luke inside, pretending to be the Jedi Master for however long it takes to finish a task. No more approachable Luke Skywalker, father, husband, and brother. Just an empty Grand Jedi Master.

Sometimes I think he leaves the mask on without realizing it, and even his own damn family can't get through to him.

Leia invites him over whenever there's time, and tries to make everything better. Hell, even I find myself saying sentimental things quite out unusual for me… but it just doesn't help. At times he'll seem to be all right, but it never lasts.

Sometimes I'd glance over at him when he thought no one was looking, and I'd see something in his eyes that was never there before. Or rather, saw the lack of something. His eyes can pierce a person's soul, I'll tell you. Be friend or foe, there was intensity in the way he looked at you. But at that moment they just seemed empty. Like someone had flipped off a switch. It was near eerie the way I'll just catch him staring off into the distance, glazed over. That never used to happen.

After awhile he'll snap back into reality after staring like that, and plaster a weary smile over his face. Who did he think he was fooling? I didn't buy it for a minute.

He is a changed man. Leia has noticed it, Ben's noticed it, hell I'm sure the whole galaxy has noticed it except for him. And the only person who could set him straight is the only one not here—Mara.

Here he is now, coming though the door of Leia and my apartment. Once again he's got that artificial smile on again. Leia embraces him, smiling as well. I suppose it's my turn now to exchange the frivolities of conversation and pretend everything is normal once again.

Wary as I was of the Jedi, we could always have a civil agreement between us. After all, all of my kids were Jedi, not to mention we've been through so much I have to believe in it eventually. Now when the subject gets brought up, I feel like its confrontation, Jedi verses non-Jedi. And that just doesn't feel right between friends.

He clasps my shoulder, and I embrace him warmly.

It's a hectic galaxy, and you need to know who's on your side or else you won't survive. It would be nice to know I've got Luke on my side… but half the time, I'm not entirely sure he is on our side.

What I used to know, what I used to rely on, is unfamiliar now.

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End file.
